Emmett's YouTube Account
by RedVinesFTW
Summary: Emmett Cullen starts vlogging, and when the girls leave the house, he decides to employ some of his family to help him make a video. But it ends in disaster. One-shot. T.


**A/N: Hey guys. This is my story about Emmett and some adventures that he has. Hope you enjoy reading about the lovable Emmett Cullen :) The chapters aren't going to be that long seeming as it's mainly fluff.**

Chapter One: YouTube And The Shocking Surprise

"Hi, Emmett here," Emmett shouted to his computer screen. "I'm gonna write a blog! How cool is that?"

"Emmett... Writing a blog is so last century," Rosalie replied with a small smile playing across her face.

Emmett turned around to see Rose smiling. "Then what am I meant to do?" He shouted at Rose for guidance.

"You should do a Vlog, dear," Esme said as she walked past to sit down on the white sofa next to Carlisle.

"Mummy? What's a Vlog?" said a confused Emmett.

"A video log, dumbass," Edward smirked playfully.

"Oh," Emmett whispered. "What's a video log?"

All the Cullen's groaned. "Don't worry honey," Rosalie said. "It's confusing at first but I'll tell you what to do, okay?"

Emmett nodded eagerly.

"Firstly you go onto YouTube and you create an account. Here," Rosalie grabbed the mouse from Emmett's hand and went to the search browser.

"Type in YouTube," Rosalie encouraged. "That's Y-o-u T-u-b-e, you got it?"

Emmett pressed enter and they waited for YouTube to load. Bella had come over to the computer as well and pulled up a chair and sat down.

"I've got a YouTube account," she admitted sheepishly.

"Really?" Rosalie said. "So have I. We should subscribe to each other."

Bella nodded timidly and her face went bright red.

Edward had joined the group crowding around the computer now. He put his arm around Bella's waist and pulled her closer to him.

YouTube had loaded and Emmett clicked on the Sign Up button and the page immediately loaded.

"What do you want to be called?" Rosalie asked.

Carlisle and Esme both got up at that moment completely ignoring the TV that was on full volume. Obviously watching Emmett come up with a Username was much more amusing than watching American Idol.

"How about," Carlisle said deep in thought as he glanced around the room. "I Like Bananas?"

Emmett laughed his deep laugh. "I _do_ like bananas, but I'm much more macho then that."

"Then what about MachoMan?" Bella added.

"Bella, you're a genius!" Emmett boomed. "I'm macho _and_ I'm a man! Why didn't I come up with it before!?"

Alice's musical laugh filled the room. "Emmett, I wouldn't say you're a manly man though."

Emmett looked insulted. "I am a manly man!"

"So not!" Alice disagreed.

"I am!" Emmett screamed. "Mummy! Alice is saying I'm not manly! But I am manly, aren't I Mummy?"

"Yes dear," Esme agreed just to shut them both up. Emmett stuck his tongue out at Alice behind Esme's back. "I saw that."

"Fine!" Emmett screamed again. "I'll just go back to my blogging, vlogging, whatever it is!"

"You do that Son," Carlisle said.

Alice turned away from the computer, uninterested now that Emmett had gone into a stroppy fit.

"Does anyone want to go shopping?" Alice asked. Esme and Rosalie both agreed that they would like to go shopping just to get away from Emmett. Emmett in a bad mood was not a pretty sight. Alice and Rosalie rounded on Bella and she looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Bella, the only way you're going to get over your fear of clothes shopping is if you embrace it," Alice said encouragingly.

After several minutes of coaxing they finally got Bella to agree. Bella picked up her off the sofa; where she'd left it when she arrived. The boys all came to the door to say goodbye and Edward pressed his lips against Bella's for a brief moment.

"See you later love," he whispered to her as he looked into her deep brown eyes.

"Jeez, guys!" Emmett whined. "Get a room!"

Once Alice, Bella, Esme and Rosalie had left Emmett stalked back to the computer which was placed in the bright white living room and immediately began searching. He typed Macho Man into the search bar and he clicked on the first video he saw.

"Edward! Jasper! I need you!" Emmett shouted down the hallway; his bad mood gone immediately.

Edward and Jasper groaned inwardly and they both returned to see a hyper Emmett standing in the middle of the living room. He had changed his clothes and was now wearing a mankini.

"Dude," Jasper grumbled. "Your mood swings are giving me whiplash."

His eyes widened. Jasper had only just noticed the clothes (or lack of) that Emmett was wearing.

"Why the hell are you wearing a mankini?"

Before Emmett had time to respond to Jasper's question Edward had gone over to him and placed his hand on his large shoulder. "Is there anything you need to tell me and Jasper? Anything man to man?"

Jasper nodded in agreement.

"I mean, dude," There was a brief pause. "Are you confused about anything?"

"I am confused about something," Emmett admitted.

"Go on," Edward encouraged.

"How long has that milk been off for in the fridge?" Emmett wondered. "I mean, if Bella drank it or anything she could be drinking mouldy milk! And from past human experiences mouldy milk isn't the nicest tasting thing in the world."

"I don't think anything that has the word mouldy in the title could taste nice Emmett," Edward announced.

"But! But!" Emmett argued. "You can buy mouldy cheese in the shop!" He had a big smile on his face like he'd won the argument.

Edward sighed. "Emmett...You do know that shopkeepers wouldn't allow mouldy cheese to be sold?"

"Then why does it look mouldy?" Emmett pondered.

It was Jasper's turn to sigh. "Why did you want us, Emmett?"

"You didn't answer my question Jazzy!" Emmett whined.

Edward and Jasper looked at each other. "Only Alice calls me Jazzy, Em," Jasper said.

"Never mind," Emmett said dismissively. "I've got a present for you two."

He went over to the corner of the living room and pulled out a box. He lifted up the flaps and searched the box for the presents. He pulled out two matching purple mankinis.

He passed one to Jasper and the other to Edward. "Well... Go on guys. Put them on."

Jasper started laughing and immediately fell to the floor in fits of laughter. Emmett looked confused. "What's wrong, guys?"

"You expect Jasper and I to wear these?"

"Well... What do you think they're for? Dusting the TV screen?"

"No, not really. But I'm not wearing this for anybody," Edward said seriously.

"Not even for Bella?" Jasper teased.

The corner of Edward's mouth lifted into a small smile. "Well, I wouldn't think Bella would want me to wear this for her. I don't think it's her thing."

"C'mon guys! The people of YouTube are awaiting our debut performance as 'Emmett and Co'!"

"Fine," Edward hissed moodily. "But don't expect a birthday or Christmas present off me this year."

Emmett nodded and stuck his hand out to shake on the deal.

Edward timidly reached out his hand and shook Emmett's.

Emmett then turned to Jasper and looked at him with begging look on his face. "Pretty please," Emmett begged.

"You should seriously become a professional beggar. Nobody can resist that puppy dog look," Jasper moaned.

"Does that mean you'll do it!?" Emmett shouted.

Jasper nodded. "On the exception that neither Alice, Rose, Bella nor Esme sees this and you delete it as soon as it's finished."

Emmett agreed.

Edward and Jasper headed off to their bedrooms to put their purple mankinis on. "Oh great," Jasper heard Edward groan.

They both went out to meet Emmett after they'd put the mankinis on. "You didn't tell us there's a glittery bit around the crotch area," Edward said. Emmett's booming laugh filled the whole room.

"Eddie, you stand on my right side and Jazzy you stand on my left," Emmett instructed as he pointed to where he wanted them to be.

They found their places and went and stood where Emmett told them to. "Now I'm going to put on some music and we're going to dance. Just go with the flow."

Emmett turned the webcam on and did his introductions and then put the music on. Macho Man blasted out of the speakers and Emmett began to dance like a drunken man in a sleazy club. Edward and Jasper tried to copy Emmett's movements exactly.

After three minutes of continuous dancing, Edward heard the front door open. He ran behind the sofa and beckoned Jasper to join him. Esme, Bella, Rosalie and Alice all walked into the living room to see Emmett in a mankini dancing to his webcam. Rosalie dropped the bag she was holding and Esme covered her eyes. Alice and Bella both looked away. Finally Bella broke the silence by coughing so loudly Emmett would notice them. Rosalie and Esme both grabbed the shopping bag full of clothes and immediately ran up the stairs.

Emmett turned around and saw Alice and Bella...

"Uh... Hi guys," Emmett said sheepishly.

"What the hell were you doing?" Bella said slowly like she'd been branded with the image of Emmett in a mankini in her mind forever.

Bella then turned to Alice as Emmett explained that he was making a video for his YouTube account. Alice was staring off into the distance, looking into the future. Her head immediately snapped up and she had a cheeky grin plastered on her face.

"Jazzy!" she called. "I know you're in here somewhere, so come out, come out wherever you are."

She immediately rounded the corner of the sofa and saw Jasper and Edward as still as statues; both wearing mankinis.

She had to stifle her musical laugh as she saw them. Her whole body shook with laughter.

Bella came over and also saw the two vampires hidden behind the sofa. Her cheeks went a deep red and she couldn't stop herself joining Alice and laughing. Alice went over to the computer and replayed the video. She saw Emmett dancing enthusiastically and Edward and Jasper behind trying to keep up with Emmett's movements. She could then see the actions that had happened after their arrival. A small smile played on her lips.

"We're definitely posting this!" she announced. Edward and Jasper's faces were frozen in horror.

She stopped the webcam filming and clicked several times. She then opened up the web browser and went to YouTube.

"You guys are seriously going to regret bargaining with Emmett," she smiled evilly.

"I always knew she was the devil in disguise," Edward whispered to Jasper.

Emmett screeched like a fan girl. "I love that song!"

Edward and Jasper merely sighed.

"There you go," Alice said. "Now it's posted for the whole world to see."

Emmett scowled noticeably. "I'm never going on YouTube again!"

**A/N: End of chapter one.**

**That was much longer then I thought it would be. I'm shocked XD**

**This is just random things thrown together. Don't worry... It didn't happen to me in real life XD**

**Read and review.**

**Ebony x**


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